If you’re new to the blog, you’re in for a treat.
That is, if you like loosely structured nonsense created simply for the sake of fun.
And if you’re old to the blog (that’s a phrase, right?), then you already know what I’m talking about
That’s right. It’s American Jesus Madness time, folks.
For the uninitiated, American Jesus Madness is a tournament dating all the way back to the dawn of time. Which, as Ken Ham’s even more conservative cousin Keith will tell you, was 4 years ago.
It’s the tournament to end all tournaments until it’s time for a new tournament next year. It’s a battle royale to determine the year’s champion of American Christianity – and thus the fate of all mankind. What exactly does it mean to be the champion of American Christianity?
Stop asking dumb questions.
In order to crown a champion 32 people, places, things, ideas, literally anything you can think of related to American Christianity are seeded (sort of) into a bracket. Winners are determined by your vote. What are you voting on? It’s completely up to you.
Take last year for instance. Rob Bell’s new tan was pitted against Rob Bell’s missing glasses in the first round. Maybe you love the new tan and vote for that in hopes it advances, Rob sees it, and goes full George Hamilton in appreciation for your support. Or maybe you miss Rob’s glasses and vote for that in hopes Rob will bring them back if the glasses go all the way to the finals. Or maybe you just hate people with tans so you vote for the glasses in hopes the world will see and there will be fewer Snookis and more Tina Feys. It’s totally up to you.
Each each tournament has been bigger than the last, with nearly 150,000 votes cast last year Mark Sandlin was crowned the 2013 American Jesus Madness Champion.
I’m hoping for only bigger and better things this year.
But I need your help.
Starting today and running through Tuesday, March 11th I’ll be taking submissions for who or what you want to see in the tournament this year. Just leave your suggestions in the comments or tweet them to me or send them via courier pigeon or whatever. I’ll add them to the list, select the best ones, and create a bracket.
I’ll release the bracket on Thursday, March 13th.
And, per tradition, I’ll offer my first round breakdown on Friday, March 14th to help guide you in your voting.
Brackets will be due on Monday, March 17th and the 2014 American Jesus Madness tournament will begin bright and early on Tuesday, March 18th.
Like that other March Madness tournament you might have heard about, half the fun of American Jesus Madness is filling out a bracket and picking the winners. Last year, Mark Hildtich stayed off all challengers to become our 2013 bracket champion. But this year could be your year! All you’ve got to do is fill out a bracket and eternal glory and honor could be yours!
Anyway, I’ll keep reminding you good folks over the coming the days to get your suggestions in for the tournament. You just make sure you’re here next Thursday to download your bracket.
And in the meantime, help me spread the good news to all your friends and family and cabbies and strangers on the street that American Jesus Madness has returned!!