Ah, the Kentucky Derby.
That great American tradition where one day of the year everybody comes together to wear silly hats, drink fancy drinks, and pretend like they care anything at all about horse racing.
Well, as it turns out, we should all care about this year’s Kentucky Derby.
Because it was won by the Antichrist and Pope Francis came in last which means the apocalypse is nigh!!
You look confused.
You should be.
No worries. In the spirit of racing, the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse breaks it down for us in just under 1 minute, 30 seconds.
That’s gotta be some kind of record, right?