American Jesus Madness 2017 – The Bracket

Welcome to the 7th anniversary edition of American Jesus Madness, the third best make-believe Christian tournament on the internet.

If you’re brand new to this, American Jesus Madness is my spin on March Madness (which begins this week), but instead of basketball teams, I use Christian pop culture to create the bracket you see above. It’s a mix of the good, the bad, and the downright crazy that defines American Christianity. From this battle royale of insanity, love, and blasphemy will emerge this year’s champion of American Christianity.

Obviously these people and things can’t “play” each other in any traditional way. So, the battles are settled by voting. Starting on Thursday you’ll determine the winners of every match by voting in interactive polls. What are you voting on exactly? Well, that’s up to you.

You could simply vote for which person or thing you like better, which you like less, which one is more entertaining, which one would win in a bar fight, which one is more sane, which one is more insane, which one is a bigger jerk, or you could get really judgmental and vote on which one you think is the better or worse Christian.

Whoever or whatever gets the most votes advances on to the next round.

Here’s an example of the polling system I use to count votes.

As I’ve done in years past, I am going to help you out. On Wednesday, I’ll post a 1st Round match-by-match breakdown that will help those of you not familiar with everyone or everything in the tournament. It will offer a brief description of every single match-up to hopefully help you out with both your voting and with filling out your bracket.

Here’s where real fun comes in…

Just like the NCAA tourney you can download the bracket, fill it out (i.e. predict the winners of every matchup all the way through the championship), and email it to (make sure to include your full name).

Why would you bother doing that?

Because there’s eternal glory involved for whoever wins the bracket challenge, duh.

Now, like I said, I’ve got my breakdown of the tournament coming on Wednesday, but until then, I want to hear from YOU. Do you consider yourself an American Christianity aficionado? If you do, post your analysis or breakdown of the tournament match ups on your own blog, send me the link, and I’ll link to it on my own breakdown on Wednesday. There have been some awesome breakdowns in the past. So, I can’t wait to see what you all come up with this year! If you do share your breakdown or anything else American Jesus Madness related or Twitter, make sure to use tag it with #AJM2017. I think that’s about it, but if you’ve got any questions, don’t hesitate to ask in the comments section.

Oh yeah, and here are the all important rules and deadlines for submitting your bracket.


Only 1 entry per person. In order you enter you must do one (or preferably all) of the following and let me know which one(s) you did when you submit your bracket

I don’t have an awesome digital entry system like ESPN so you will need to download the bracket, fill it in, save it/scan it/take a picture of it with your phone/whatever, and email it to (make sure to include your full name).


Here’s the point system for those filling out a bracket.

As you’ll notice, points increase with each round. Which means, it’s no big deal if you get a few 1st round matchups wrong. As long as your champion is still in the tournament, you probably still have a good chance at winning the bracket challenge.

1st round – 1 point

2nd round – 5 points

3rd round – 10 points

4th round – 20 points

Championship – 40 points


All brackets must be turned in by midnight on Wednesday, March 15th in order to eligible for the bracket challenge.

I’m going to try something new and unlike in previous years, I’m going to carry voting on through the weekend. Which means, the schedule will look a little different than what you’re used to if you’ve done this in the past, so pay careful attention.


1st Round – Thursday, March 16th

  • Voting begins at 8am
  • Polls close at 10pm

Salacious 16 Round – Friday, March 17th

  • Results from 1st round announced on at 8am
  • Voting for Salacious 16 begins at 9am
  • Polls close at 10pm

Exquisite 8 Round – Saturday, March 18th

  • Results from Salacious 16 round announced at 8am
  • Voting for Exquisite 8 begins at 9am
  • Polls close at 10pm

4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse – Sunday, March 19th

  • Results from Exquisite 8 round announced at 8am
  • Voting for the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse begins at 9am
  • Polls close at 10pm

Championship Match – Monday, March 2oth

  • Results from 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse round announced at 8am
  • Voting for the 2017 American Jesus Madness Championship begins at 9am
  • Polls close at 10pm


Good luck!!