The 10 Least Necessary Bibles Ever Published

There is, quite literally and quite unfortunately, a Bible for every occasion under the sun.

Though I do believe that certain types of study Bibles can be very helpful, the special edition Bible phenomenon is both unnecessary and increasingly more ridiculous. Maybe you’re buying what they’re selling, but personally I’m not convinced whatsoever by the idea that a Bible for NASCAR fans will make NASCAR fans who don’t already read the Bible (or even those that do) anymore likely to read the Bible just because there is a picture of a stock car on the cover.

If I’m being completely honest, I think slapping pop culture on the cover of a Bible is nothing more than a cheap and tacky money grab, one that we would all be better off without.

But, perhaps, the most mind-bottling part of this tragic publishing trend is the fact that you can’t fully appreciate the depths of special edition absurdity until you do a little digging (or, in my case, until you have a friend link you to a few and then find yourself clicking further and further down the rabbit hole just to see how ridiculous things will get).

So, to help you fully appreciate just how far the Bible publishing industry has fallen, here are, in no particular order, the 10 least necessary Bibles ever published.

 

10. Duck Commander Faith and Family Bible

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Perhaps no special edition Bible exemplifies the obvious money grab more than this thing. Sure, the guys on Duck Dynasty love Jesus and have their own thoughts about the Christian faith, but this Bible would not exist were it not for the fact that, at least a year or two ago, anything with Ducky Dynasty slapped on it was an easy chance to turn a quick buck.

 

9. Stock Car Racing Bible

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I wasn’t kidding about a NASCAR Bible. Although, clearly the folks who published this gem weren’t able to acquire the NASCAR licensing rights and had to go with the generic “Stock Car Racing” title. Which just makes a terrible gimmick even worse.

 

8. Engaged Couples’ Bible

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I’m not sure how helpful gender or group specific Bibles are in general, but having once been one half of an engaged couple, I can say with some authority that especially as a Christian engaged couple who already own multiple Bibles, the last thing an engaged couple needs is a special edition Bible. You know what would be a lot more helpful? A set of glasses…or plates….or laundry detergent….or literally anything else.

 

7. The Klingon Bible

klingon(Credit: MorganRLewis, DeviantArt)

Technically, you could argue this one is more about the translation than the special edition-ness, but in this particular case, you can’t really separate the two. But what makes this Bible truly awesome are the angry Amazon commenters raging about the imperfect translation of a completely fictional language.

 

6. The Zombie Bible

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Given the recent obsession with everything zombie related, it shouldn’t come as any surprise that this thing exists. Essentially, it was a group effort to add zombies to biblical stories whenever possible. I say “was” because thankfully this effort seems to have been finally put to rest.
 

5. The Manga Bible

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Anime ruined the animation style of my beloved 80s cartoons. So, maybe I’m just bitter, but I hope this thing doesn’t sell a single copy.
 

4. The Hockey Bible

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This one is just lazy. Seriously, there is nothing that makes this Bible a hockey Bible for hockey fans other than the ice skate on the cover.
 

3. God’s Glory Bible

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God is not glorified by a Bible draped in the American flag. God is grieved and sheds more than a few tears that God’s holy book has been transformed into something too tacky even for truck stop.
 

2. The American Patriot’s Bible

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Speaking of Bible’s that make God cry, if this one doesn’t bring a tear to the divine eye, then it at least cause one incredible eye roll.
 

1. A Story Of God And All Of Us

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I said in the beginning that these were in no particular order, but this has got to be by far the most ridiculous, unnecessary, and absurd special edition Bible ever published. Yes, technically it’s not a Bible. It’s the novelization of the Bible based on a movie based on the Bible….but that just makes it so, so much worse.

 

Well, these are my top 10 least necessary Bibles, but I’m guessing you know of some more. Share them with me in the comments.