Thank You Kirk Cameron For Saving Christmas From Nothing

 
Hey Kirk,

I saw the preview for your new movie Saving Christmas.

And that epic movie poster.

saving christmasAnd I have to be honest, man. Your candy cane of holy wrath stirred my soul in a profound way. I mean, it takes real conviction to speak up and fight to “put Christ back in Christmas” when Christ never actually went anywhere and no church anywhere in America has stopped or even been asked to stop celebrating Christ at Christmas.

You’ve done some truly great things in the past. You’ve solved the problem of evil, thoroughly debunked evolution, and completely rewritten what Jesus said would happen on judgment day, but this is by far your most ambitious and important work to date.

So, I just wanted to offer a word of thanks.

Because while this might not be the movie we need, it’s certainly the movie we deserve.

So, thank you.

Thank you for calling out the commercialization of Christmas by making a for-profit movie. Genius. It takes real creativity to expose the hypocrisy of those who would use Christmas as just another opportunity to make another buck by using Christmas as an opportunity to make another buck for yourself.

Thank you for astutely exposing the subtle racism of the American church’s white savior complex by not ironically naming your lead character Christian White. In evangelical America we too often forgot that if the world is going to be saved – to say nothing of Christmas – it will be through the work of white Christians.

And as someone who just completed a graduate degree in church history, I want to personally thank you for that scene in the car where you expose church history for what it really is: complete ridiculousness. The last thing the church needs right now is to know what the church has actually believed and done on Christmas for the past 2000 years. After all, this is evangelical America where we can just make up our own history as we see fit and as long as we believe hard enough that’ll make it true.

But most importantly, thank for being bold enough to take a stand against the war on Christmas when, you know, there’s an actual war going on involving the death of countless Christians. While Christians are being singled out for slaughter everyday by ISIS, you courageously remind us that real Christian persecution isn’t having your church destroyed by militants or being dragged out of your house and executed.

Real persecution is not being told “Merry Christmas!” when you check out at Target.

I mean, it takes real wisdom and a heart of gold, especially in the midst of an ongoing bloodbath of our brothers and sisters, to be able to stop and recognize that we can only have a meaningful conversation about religious persecution when the concept of persecution has lost all meaning.

Rather than help us see our incredible religious privilege in America where the worst thing we have to deal with is a barista at Starbucks saying “Happy Holidays!” you fan the flames of irrationality and help me to lose respect for half of my Facebook friends who are utterly grief-stricken over the war on Christmas even as they celebrate Christmas in extravagant and completely unimpeded ways.

Thank you for that, Kirk.

For, as you astutely point out, Christmas is really about celebrating the birth of Jesus. It’s an event celebrated every year in churches all across the country and around the world. But tragically – and more importantly, un-Americanly – the liberals and atheists and probably al Qaeda (Who are we kidding? They’re all the same thing) are doing absolutely nothing whatsoever to prevent Christians from celebrating one of our most sacred holidays in the places we have always celebrated them – our homes and our churches.

In fact, I remember vividly last Christmas when I went to church and was terrified the entire time that we were going to experience one of those infamous Christmas Eve service hijackings you hear about all the time on the news when Nancy Pelosi and Bill Maher rush into the sanctuary with President Obama, tear down the manger scene, and cast their evil spell over the congregation turning everyone in attendance into atheists and Muslims.

Without you and your movie doing your part to preserve and protect a sacred moment that needed neither preservation nor protection, who knows what would happen to our church services in America. I mean, probably nothing, but it’s just nice to know you care.

So thank you, Kirk, for having the courage to save something from nothing and the wisdom to remind all of us what Christmas is really about – a public debate over terminology.

Oh, and I almost forgot…

Before I let you go, I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge your amazing humility and fantastic sense of humor. You didn’t think I missed the subtle inside joke with the movie poster, did you? I’m so gonna get one of those vintage movie posters to put on my bedroom wall. Like c’mon man, aren’t they just awesome?!

Dude, I was a HUGE Growing Pains fan back in the day. I know Mike Seaver how rolls. While we’re all laughing at your crazy hijinks, there’s an important message underneath it all if we just open our eyes and pay attention – in this case, to your artistic inspiration.

cameroncomparison

Seriously, it takes an incredible amount of humility to acknowledge that you’re a…well…you know.

Personally, I love self-deprecating humor. So, thank you for the good laugh.

Thank you for the call to humility.

And thank you for the poignant reminder that the war on Christmas is nothing a bad joke.

 

Your 8th Biggest Fan,

Zack Hunt