Is This The Worst Novelty Bible Ever? (Yes, Yes It Is)

I’m terrible at responding to emails.

It doesn’t matter who you are or how far we go back, chances are good it’s going to take me forever to get back to you. I know that’s terrible of me, but please know it’s not personal.

I just have this weird habit of responding to an email in my head, getting distracted by something else, and then I forget to actually respond to the email in real life.

I’m even worse when it comes to Facebook and Twitter messages. I barely even check them.

Which is terrible because I sometimes miss out on awesome stuff like this that a friend sent to me a couple of weeks ago.

And by “awesome” I mean one of the tackiest, most awful things I’ve ever seen.

It’s called “God’s Glory™ Bible: A Patriotic King James Version Holy Bible Honoring God And Our Country” and it’s available now for only $39.95.

Screen Shot 2014-07-31 at 9.27.17 AMI don’t even know where to begin.

Ok, I do. But I’ve got so many questions about the trademark after God’s Glory. And why the subtitle needed to be so long. And…well, I guess I should just focus on the cover.

There was/is an American Patriot’s Bible that came out a while back and I thought it was pretty terrible – because it was – but this, this has got to be the absolute worst novelty Bible of all time.

I mean THE COVER IS AN AMERICAN FLAG.

Oh, and did you notice the stars?

According to the website,

This King James Version has 13 stars on the cover – 1 gold star representing Jesus and 12 white stars for the disciples. These stars also represent the 13 original colonies of the United States of America.

I can’t even.