The Creepiest Jesus(es) You’ll Ever See

A while back I shared the most awkward Jesus paintings I’ve ever seen.

That post happened because one painting that took me down a rabbit hole of awkwardness no human should ever have to experience. Well, like before, I once again stumbled upon one picture and this time inadvertently opened up a pandora’s box of creepy Jesus that I didn’t want to know existed.

But since I know now it does indeed exist- and can’t get some of these images out of my head – I need some company in my distress.

So, today I’m sharing what I found with you just so I won’t be alone in my disturbedness. (That’s a word, right? Disturbedness? Well, it is now.)

Anyway, without further ado here are some of the creepiest Jesus paintings, pictures, and statues I’ve ever seen.

I’ll start off easy, so you don’t get too overwhelmed too fast.

First up, dead eye Jesus.

Ironically, somebody tried to attach an inspirational quote to this painting, but it was a waste of effort.

There’s no inspiration in those dead eyes.

Only the fear that this guy might be staring at you through your bedroom window.

Screen Shot 2014-07-08 at 9.43.45 AM

But as creepy as dead eye stalker Jesus might be, he’s nothing compared to serial killer Jesus.

Don’t let that smile deceive you. It’s just a cover for the evil inside.

Seriously, you can’t tell me this drifter hasn’t killed at least a dozen people.

serial killer jesus

Speaking of unsuspecting creepiness, you probably wouldn’t expect to be totally creeped out by Jesus at church right?

Well, that’s only because he’s not staring down your blouse as you walk into church on Sunday morning.

jesus mural

But none of those Jesuses comes close in creepiness to these last two.

Both statues, if they don’t give you the creeps, they’ll at least scare the hell out of you. (Get it??)

scary jesus statueOk, maybe you’re thinking “Stigmata Jesus isn’t that terrifying.”

Fair enough.

But prepare to have nightmares for a week when you see what I can only describe as the creepiest, most terrifying image of Jesus I have ever seen in my entire life.

Seriously.

You’ve been warned.

2426197486_d22b8c9f27_o-2Well, that’s all the creepiness I can handle for now.

But if you’ve got a creepy Jesus you think is even creepier than these, make sure to share it in the comments and we can all share in your pain together.