The Most Awkward Jesus Painting I’ve Ever Seen

So, I stumbled across a treasure trove of amazing Jesus paintings today.

And I thought, I’ve got to share these!

So, I started going through them (there were a lot, you may recognize a few) to pick out the best ones to share.

There was business Jesus.

Screen Shot 2013-10-16 at 10.07.31 AM

And creepy watching you sleep Jesus.

Screen Shot 2013-10-16 at 10.11.16 AM

And excuse me is that my baby Jesus.

Screen Shot 2013-10-16 at 10.08.41 AM

And never made it out of kindergarten Jesus. (Or Billy Madisonย Jesus, whichever you prefer.)

Screen Shot 2013-10-16 at 10.11.44 AM

And lots more.

But then I saw it.

The single, most awkward Jesus painting I have ever seen.

I mean, I don’t even know if you’re ready to see it.

Seriously. It’s, um, yeah.

Are you sure you want to see it?

I mean it’s really, really awkward.

Ok, now I’ve built it waaayyy too much and it’s gonna be a huge let down.

Well, here it is anyway.

I call it “I can’t think of a title that won’t send me straight to hell Jesus.”

Screen Shot 2013-10-16 at 10.04.18 AM

The best part??

For only $1,495.00 you can hang this gem in your living room and traumatize your kids for years to come!!

 

172 Comments
  • Christina
    October 16, 2013

    These are gold. The Christian bookstore I used to work at once got in a picture of business Jesus. It took four of us to try and get it out of its box, and when we were done my coworker (a non-nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is Dutch mother of 5) grimaced and said “really, we went through all that trouble for *that*?” I never could keep a straight face when customers came in and raved about it.

  • Stephen Snead
    October 16, 2013

    That’s just so wrong. ;-0

  • Pam
    October 16, 2013

    $1495 for the PRINT. You wouldn’t even be protecting the world by taking it out of circulation!

  • Matt Flinner
    October 16, 2013

    It’s the “Katy Perry Roar Jesus”

    • Pam Manners
      October 16, 2013

      Exactly

  • Roo Ciambriello
    October 16, 2013

    Lost it at “Billy Madison Jesus.”

    • Nexcerpt
      October 19, 2013

      Except… isn’t that actually “Dubya on 9/11Jesus”?

      • skinnercitycyclist
        November 3, 2013

        You, sir, are a poet…

  • Hannah Violette
    October 16, 2013

    I think these are actually illustrations from the Seventh-Day Adventist published series, “The Bible Story” – I had the whole set of books when I was a child, and if you read the stories, the pictures are easily put into context. Not that I don’t struggle with Adventist interpretations…and I certainly would not hang these anywhere in my home.

    • Pam Manners
      October 16, 2013

      These are all done by the same artist, Nathan Greene, just FYI

  • Christina
    October 16, 2013

    My husband: “In the last one, isn’t it odd that Jesus is the only one clothed?”

    • Mark Letteney
      October 16, 2013

      “Overdressed Jesus.”

      • Delphine
        October 16, 2013

        “Nudity Optional Jesus.”

        • reynard61
          October 18, 2013

          “Anachronism Jesus”?

          (“Saving souls before his time…”)

          • Duncan
            October 19, 2013

            “Le dejeuner sur l’herbe Jesus”? Sorry, that might be too arcane. But it applies, I think.

          • reynard61
            October 19, 2013

            “(…T)hat might be too arcane.”

            Just a bit. I know the painting, but only by it’s English title “Luncheon* in the Grass”.

            *Or “Picnic…”

          • Therry Neilsen-Steinhardt
            October 20, 2013

            Not that arcane, my friend!

        • taarkov
          October 26, 2013

          “Adam, when you grab Eve’s boob, hold your hand like this” Jesus

    • Jennwith2ns
      October 16, 2013

      My first thoughts, too.

    • JPeckJr
      October 23, 2013

      An unclothed Jesus would suggest a three-way and that would be even more disturbing.

    • Charles Rode
      January 14, 2014

      CJNMF

  • Joshua Shope
    October 16, 2013

    Business Jesus is a scene of a white guy who really wants to get this deal done, but doesn’t want to shake the non-white guy’s hand, so the non-white guy is all “How about my friend Jesus? He’s white, will you shake his hand?” And the white guy is like “Of course! Done deal!”

    • ZackHunt
      October 16, 2013

      lol YES that is EXACTLY it!!!

    • beek7
      October 18, 2013

      Is that Chandler Bing on the left?

      • jennybek
        October 21, 2013

        Obviously, it’s Peter Gibbons from Office Space. Does that make Jesus one of the Bobs?

      • Dave Rogers
        October 21, 2013

        Could it BE more awkward?

    • Tricia
      July 8, 2014

      Only Jesus wasn’t white either. He lived in Israel, was Jewish, and most likely dark skinned because of the intensity of the sun.

      • bleh
        July 8, 2014

        Duh…

  • David
    October 16, 2013

    So um… how is jesus talking to garden of eden adam and eve? He didn’t exist at that time. So obviously this should be titled Time Travelling Jesus

    • Civitus_Americanus
      October 16, 2013

      Actually Jesus is/was/shall be infinite and eternal. Reference John 1:1 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” The Word (taken in context) being a reference to Jesus. Although I admit the visual here is a little creepy. lol

  • BrinaHarwood
    October 16, 2013

    It looks like the cover of what could be a Christian romance novel. Now, that would be a money maker.

    • Lee Kalba
      October 19, 2013

      They already make those. I know someone who reads them. Not ironically.

      • Hugh7
        October 24, 2013

        Left Behind Jesus – and your right behind’s cute too.

    • skinnercitycyclist
      November 3, 2013

      Pimp Jesus seems to be encouraging the couple to “shake their money maker”…

  • Tim
    October 16, 2013

    “Strategically-placed tiger and fern frond while a giraffe and colorful Jungle bird look on at non-existent, physically and sexually idealized white American couple Jesus.”

  • April G
    October 16, 2013

    Sex Therapist Jesus. Somebody had to show Adam and Eve what was what.

    • gefitz
      October 19, 2013

      “So, Adam…when I said I ‘You look bored, so I brought you some pussy’, I meant Eve, not this tiger.”

  • Matthew
    October 16, 2013

    I am amazed that Adam had, not only, a razor and a set of hair trimmers and scissors, but a great eye for modern hair design. Also, in hospital jesus, does he have a receding hair line?

    • Joshua Shope
      October 16, 2013

      Hospital Jesus has a receding hairline because it’s his kid and he thought everything was worked out with the old lady and her idiot husband about keeping his parentage a secret but lately she’s been blabbing about being honest about it and blah blah blah, she’s being a real B so get off his back, okay?

    • Joseph Zimmer
      October 19, 2013

      I think he did it with a sharp rock, while looking into a glassy pool.

  • kashicat
    October 16, 2013

    That last one immediately made me think, “Pimp Jesus.”

  • Jon Weaver
    October 16, 2013

    Is that Barry Gibbs from the Bee Gees?

  • Mama H
    October 16, 2013

    BAHAHAHAHA!!!! In the last painting, it looks like Jesus is saying “Adam, I’m deeply disappointed in you. God created Eve to be your companion, and here you are – cozying up with a member of the cat family.This is shameful behavior.” And Eve is all like “That’s IT, Adam. We’re THROUGH.”
    Very funny post!:)

    • JPeckJr
      October 23, 2013

      It looks to me like Jesus is saying, “Adam, let’s try this again. Eve wasn’t entirely satisfied with your first go at it.”

  • danjo
    October 16, 2013

    “Trust me, Adam: you guys are totally compatible, if you know what I mean! Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge!”

  • Randy Sturgill
    October 16, 2013

    Pimp Jesus looks like Tom Selleck…

  • Randy Sturgill
    October 16, 2013

    Jesus has long hair, hot Eve has long hair – Adam must feel like the 3rd wheel after cutting his hair like that…

  • Randy Sturgill
    October 16, 2013

    Hospital Jesus has a mullett LOL

  • Abby
    October 16, 2013

    its adam and eve u freakin retards!!! U ppl make me sick with all ur stupid ass comments!!! U need to read the bible!

    • John Heitzenrater
      October 16, 2013

      sounds like you do, too

      • Ellen Polzien
        October 17, 2013

        And just read, period.

    • sabrinacat
      October 16, 2013

      Would Jesus say that to someone? I think not…..Go back and read, my dear,

      • Duncan
        October 19, 2013

        Would Jesus say that to someone? You bet he would. Read your Bible.

    • Anna Wright
      October 16, 2013

      We know what it’s trying to depict, but it’s taking something awe-inspiring and turning it into something cheesy.

  • Mojebo
    October 16, 2013

    Well, what do you think Adam? I made her from the rib I just ripped from you side. Not bad eh?

  • Anna Wright
    October 16, 2013

    I’m not sure which is worse…these prints or the Duck Dynasty necklace with the duck in the center of the cross.

  • Emily
    October 16, 2013

    Zach,
    Rod and I sat here laughing til we cried tonight. thanks!

  • kelleylynn
    October 16, 2013

    Sealing the deal on eternal life.

  • gabi532
    October 16, 2013

    OMG.SCARY!!!!

  • JB
    October 17, 2013

    None of them look anything like Jesus… He was a Jew for a start, from the middle east… GO FIGURE!!! He looks like the type of person most Americans would describe as a terrorist!!! Ya gotta larf innit.

  • Lee Modlin
    October 17, 2013

    Why does Jesus have to wear clothes if Adam and Eve are still naked?

    • Ali Wilkin
      October 17, 2013

      Because Jesus NAKED?? It would be worse than married! ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • kimc
        October 17, 2013

        That Betty Dodson portrait of Jesus I mentioned before has him naked.

    • JPeckJr
      October 23, 2013

      A naked Jesus would suggest a three-way, which would be even more disturbing. Or, that he is saying to Adam, “Now that you see how it’s done, why don’t you try?”

  • Charles Twombly
    October 17, 2013

    Especially like the first one with Jesus’ “Have I got a deal for you” approach. You can sell previously owned vehicles that way.

  • VR
    October 17, 2013

    Props to Adam for letting a Tiger that close to his junk. Dude’s got balls. for now.

  • Ali Wilkin
    October 17, 2013

    Biology Lesson Jesus?

  • Clayton Waters
    October 17, 2013

    That last painting is totally Scarlett Johansson and Keanu Reeves!

  • Ilja V A Grauls
    October 17, 2013

    Did the tiger chew off Jesus’ legs to the knees or is Adam lying on a prehistoric table?

    • Nastassja Riemermann
      October 17, 2013

      Jesus is probably kneeling.

  • Kuriakos
    October 17, 2013

    Where are Adam’s nipples???

    • BigBuck
      October 17, 2013

      More to the point, where are Eve’s?

      • SufferinSuccotash,Vetted
        October 17, 2013

        Wot, no dinosaurs?

      • Duncan
        October 19, 2013

        Eve’s are hidden by that fern. Intelligent Design Adam doesn’t need nipples, only Godless Evoliution Adam has them.

        • Mike
          October 22, 2013

          Best comment on the whole comment section!! LOL!!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • jh1289
      October 19, 2013

      Nipples offend righties.

  • Joe Tralongo
    October 17, 2013

    The adam and eve one, he looks to be saying “Are you SURE you don’t feel ANYTHING when you look at her?”

    • Anna
      October 17, 2013

      Exactly what I was thinking!

      • Hugh7
        October 24, 2013

        “I’ll help you pray away the gay” Jesus?

  • Jerk Face
    October 17, 2013

    I’m surprised Jesus isn’t checking out Eve rather than Adam in the last painting….she’s way hotter.

  • kim bunchalastnames
    October 17, 2013

    wait — i thought justin timberlake had sold his soul to the devil for fame. why is he shaking hands with jesus?

  • Richard
    October 17, 2013

    Maybe, the underlying theme, is that Jesus is with us at all times, as part of the Trinity, He always has been around, and will continue to be. There is nothing we can hide or keep from Him. Yet He gives us free will, giving us the freedom to act as we see fit, to learn and grow from our mistakes. This is part of the real challenge. It seems like it would be simpler if He were an autocratic dictator, imposing his rule on us. The would make sense, if life our on earth were the most important thing. Maybe the importance of our sole is many times greater that of our body. I’ve sometimes likened this to a simile of the caterpillar and the butterfly – if we successfully navigate this life, a beautiful fate awaits when our sole departs from our deceased body.
    This brings us to the challenges that life presents, the difficulty with navigation – how do we really know? Some people call this faith. I would prefer though if His will was stated loud and clear, detailed and irrefutable, or a at least some definitive guidelines…then I am reminded about the 10 commandments that were written in stone. Contrary to what some would have you believe, these are the key to a happy individual life as well as a healthy, thriving society.

    • Melissa Stern
      October 17, 2013

      I think most of us get the theme. It’s just all predicted rather awkwardly. And Jesus in the Garden of Eden? That’s just a weird picture all around.

    • BigBuck
      October 17, 2013

      The ten commandments don’t include “love your neighbor as you love yourself” nor “treat the poor as you would treat me.” They represent the old, failed covenant, not the new one.

      • Warren
        October 18, 2013

        That’s not completely correct @BigBuck:disqus , Jesus answered that the greatest commandments were Love God with all you heart soul, mind, and strength, and Love your neighbor as yourself. It’s those two commands upon which hang all the Law and the Prophets. Interestingly enough when you look at the Ten Commandments the first four fall under the category of Love God, and the other six involve loving your neighbor.

        The only way in which things have changed is that instead of us having to keep the whole law, not just the Ten Commandments btw, for salvation, instead Jesus kept it for us, and then because He loves us with such great love and dwells in us we will begin to naturally keep the Ten Commandments, maybe not the rest of the Law. The only caveat being the one about the Sabbath, although I do think if we grabbed a hold of the Sabbath for the blessing it is we would really find we like it, but definitely not compulsory.

        Also @Richard while the soul is incredibly valuable and continues to Heaven, crossing the planes of existence between Earth and heaven, after we die, I think the body has a lot of value. We were created by God with bodies, and while weak and affected by the fall we do ultimately see that after death we get our bodies back though now in a glorified state, which will be awesome. I would be careful, personally, about lowering the importance of the body, it begins to bring you into contact with teaching similar to the Gnostics who believed that all matter was evil. God however created matter so I think He loves the stuff, and while the primary reason He died on the cross was the redeem man to Himself, on a broader scale it was also to redeem all creation from the Fall. Someday it too will be glorified as it was in the days of the Garden of Eden, and that will be awesome.

    • pinklife
      July 8, 2014

      While I agree that sole is in fact very important, I prefer halibut.

  • William J. Hamilton
    October 17, 2013

    What about the tiger?

  • Tami Romani
    October 17, 2013

    Laughing so hard I am crying right now!

  • Lynda Bell
    October 17, 2013

    It immediately made me think of “The Lady or the Tiger” — a well-known short story by Frank Stockton I read back in high school.

  • prb
    October 17, 2013

    Jane and Tarzan and Jesus.

  • Ellen Polzien
    October 17, 2013

    Is that Katy Perry in the last picture? LOL

  • Candice Hoyt
    October 17, 2013

    3-way/beastiality Jesus?

  • ralph
    October 17, 2013

    Jesus looks a lot like Tom Selleck in some of these.

  • Moe_Szyslak
    October 17, 2013

    Jesus, wingman for Eve.

  • Deacon Blues
    October 17, 2013

    Shirley you mean Speedo Jesus

    http://www.authorsden.com/ArticlesImage/37665.jpg

  • Jo
    October 17, 2013

    wedding night Jesus

  • wzimmerman
    October 17, 2013

    ??????? ONLY $1,495.00? Are they serious? (Plus, my favorite Jesus picture is the one where he’s cradling an infant Tyrannosaurus rex)

  • Lisa
    October 17, 2013

    Is it just me or does Jesus look a lot like George Clooney in a couple of those paintings…?

  • kimc
    October 17, 2013

    Have you seen Betty Dodson’s beautiful portrait of Jesus?

  • Janerik
    October 18, 2013

    There are so many questions. How did Adam shave and cut his hair? Why did Jesus correct his nose? Can the garden of Eden be both in India and Africa at the same time?

    • incornsyucopia
      October 21, 2013

      Of course it couldn’t have been in India and Africa at the same time because it was in Missouri. Independence to be exact. Just ask the Mormons!

  • Nobackhand
    October 18, 2013

    Gotta be Mormon Paintings

  • Threem3
    October 18, 2013

    If you think these are hilarious, you shoud see the Allah paintings….. oh wait.

  • Former Greenskeeper
    October 18, 2013

    “Let’s have a threesome Jesus”

  • Gman
    October 18, 2013

    Gotta’ Call that Last One…” Do you mind, I really Hate Sloppy Seconds Jesus”

  • Kris Overtoom
    October 18, 2013

    Maybe they should make a “Kid’s Bible” version of all of these pictures.

  • ericcoomer
    October 18, 2013

    I guess you all haven’t seen Stephen Sawyer’s paintings…

    • reynard61
      October 18, 2013

      Ah yes! The “WTF, JESUS?!?!?!” Collection…

    • jh1289
      October 19, 2013

      WTF?

    • Duncan
      October 19, 2013

      I take it the young lady in white represents the church, Jesus’ bride. Of course she’d have a white wedding.

      • sunnyside
        October 31, 2013

        The child, actually. Jesus’ child bride?

        It’s probably like the purity ring fad, with girls vowing their purity to their dad. Some sexually confusing stuff, that.

    • Manders
      April 10, 2014

      Is it weird that I found boxing ring Jesus kinda sexy?… thought so….

  • Tony Prost
    October 18, 2013

    WHERE ARE THE DINOSAURS???

    • gefitz
      October 19, 2013

      If Jesus can time travel and visit with Adam and Eve and some giraffe, them there should definitely be a freakin’ pterodactyl in there.

  • Rilian Sharp
    October 18, 2013

    Is that adam and eve? I never pictured them with dark hair.

    • Duncan
      October 19, 2013

      Of course they wouldn’t have dark hair! They’d be blond and blue-eyed, just like Jesus.

  • Obengruppenfuhrer Gumby
    October 18, 2013

    Is Jesus standing in a hole?

  • Craig Thom
    October 18, 2013

    I think Jesus is saying, “No, Adam, you have to be on top or it’s a sin.”

  • michael mcshea
    October 18, 2013

    Jesus in the Garden. Is that supposed to be a threesome? Or a foursome with the tiger? I think the giraffe just wants to watch.

  • Albanaeon
    October 18, 2013

    Looks very much like Jesus is trying to convince Adam that he’s supposed to be with Eve, not the tiger. And Adam is totally not buying it…

  • Jebies
    October 18, 2013

    “So, are we going to do this?” Jesus.

  • cleopete
    October 18, 2013

    Is that Rebecca Gayheart?

  • Dingo
    October 19, 2013

    I thought business Jesus was all like “What the fuck, you’ll shake a white guy’s hand but not mine?”

  • conradg
    October 19, 2013

    I think that’s Teaching Adam How To Pose For Playgirl Jesus.

  • balconespolitics
    October 19, 2013

    In “Adam and Eve” Jesus, where’s the dinosaur?

  • Bonne Nouvelle
    October 19, 2013

    Are people actually buying this shit?

  • victor
    October 19, 2013

    Billy Madison Jesus has two right hands!

    • TheLump
      October 19, 2013

      The little hand is from the little girl behind him.

  • DisillusionedLiberal
    October 19, 2013

    I’m sure it’s a nice frame.

  • jh1289
    October 19, 2013

    i think “business Jesus” is the one that’s REALLY bizarre.

  • jh1289
    October 19, 2013

    Why does Jesus look like Lorenzo Lamas instead of a dark-skinned Arab?

  • BobSF_94117
    October 19, 2013

    It’s the “No, no, I didn’t say pussy cat!” Jesus.

  • Steve Delaney
    October 19, 2013

    And on the eighth day, Jesus reminded Adam and Eve to get busy being fruitful and multiplying over the face of the earth.

  • pmphillips
    October 19, 2013

    Easy, Tiger!

  • Joselo12
    October 19, 2013

    It looks like Jesus is about to massage Eve’s breast with his left hand.

  • Duncan
    October 19, 2013

    “I call it ‘I can’t think of a title that won’t send me straight to hell Jesus.'” Not to worry — you think your other titles won’t? But here, as an atheist I might as well hanged for a pound as hanged for a penny, so how about “Menage a trois Jesus”?

    I
    call it โ€œI canโ€™t think of a title that wonโ€™t send me straight to hell
    Jesus.โ€ – See more at:
    http://theamericanjesus.net/?p=10943#sthash.GmMw0Q0G.dpuf

  • Scott Jamieson
    October 19, 2013

    There was a Supercuts in the Garden of Eden?

  • mochalite
    October 19, 2013

    Just unbelievable. Aside from everything else that is creepy about these, Adam & Eve look like the cover of a 1980s romance.

  • Ken
    October 19, 2013

    Kindergarten Jesus might be “extra Limb Jesus” because he (or the kid next to him) has an extra arm. The kid has his hands linked in front of him, and Jesus has one hand on the kid’s shoulder and the other resting on his knee. Who’s arm is reaching across Jesus’ chest?

  • Michael David
    October 19, 2013

    I feel like there’s a bit of a disconnect with Jesus in the garden of Eden…he’s wearing clothes! BTW he was crucified naked (he brought the naked full circle). lol other than that I’m perfectly OK with these pictures and I think the word creepy is misused just a tad here.

  • Light_Sleeper
    October 20, 2013

    It’s so fortunate that the person who thought these thoughts also owned some paint. Otherwise all this would just be trapped in his head.

  • brilliantatbreakfast
    October 20, 2013

    The father in Photo #3 appears to be Mitt Romney. Does Ann know about this? As for “Business Jesus”, that looks like he’s congratulating Stephen Colbert.

  • Rebecca Rowe
    October 20, 2013

    All the Jesus’ look like George Clooney.

  • k in la
    October 21, 2013

    Jesus offers Adam a million dollars to sleep with Eve…

  • mtlshdwoverlord
    October 21, 2013

    >Says these paintings of Jesus are “awkward”.

    >Has Jesus cosplaying as Uncle Sam in the banner

    Seems legit.

  • Budman
    October 21, 2013

    You forgot Polygamy Jesus…

  • Paul Brownnutt
    October 21, 2013

    If you won’t say it, I will. A tiger and a giraffe have no business sharing the same ecosystem. This is ecologically unaware Jesus, right?

  • Jay Mandeville
    October 21, 2013

    I love the one where the teacher is instructing her elementary students in the rudiments of Evolutionary theory, & Jesus sits enjoying the lesson immensely. Go, Darwinian Jesus!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pharb
    October 21, 2013

    Query: In Billy Madison Jesus, whose small hand is across Jesus’s chest? Jesus’s right hand is on the small boy’s shoulder, and the boy has his hands folded in his lap.

  • Carl Starrett
    October 21, 2013

    I don’t remember the Bible every saying anything about Jesus having a mullet. This version looks vaguely like Billy Ray Cyrus, which is oddly disturbing. If you don’t follow him, I guess that would break his Achy Breaky Heart.

  • GodBotherer
    October 22, 2013

    FFS Adam! We need there to be 7 billion of you. So will you *please* just get on and F*** her.

  • David Leyland
    October 22, 2013

    Jesus is saying “not that kind of pussy this kind!”. And the giraffe is simply saying “Jerk!”.

  • David Leyland
    October 22, 2013

    Eve is saying just bring me an apple! I don’t want to f**k this creep!

  • Guest
    October 22, 2013

    WHAT ON EARTH is going on with Adam’s left hand???

  • Chris
    October 22, 2013

    The picture with Adam & Eve is called “The Introduction.” It’s the moment Adam wakes up from losing his rib and see’s Eve for the first time. I’m totally missing the creep-factor.

  • JPeckJr
    October 23, 2013

    In the hospital one, it is more disturbing to me that the kid in the foreground brought his baseball and glove to the hospital room, and that this is apparently the couple’s fourth child.

  • Erik Wikstrom
    October 23, 2013

    You forgot the “In My Day We Didn’t Bother With Sterile Procedures Jesus” http://www.thecollectionshop.com/xq/ASP/Nathan_Greene_In_good_hands_studio_canvas_giclee/S.AG2024L/A.244/qx/Limited_Edition_Art_Detail_Page.htm

  • Elaine Schoepf
    October 23, 2013

    How is it they had hairdressing shears, blow dryers and curling irons, but no clothes?

  • Matt
    October 23, 2013

    Gay for pay Jesus?

  • J. D.
    October 24, 2013

    This is my favorite Jesus painting, which has been up on ebay forever it seems.

    http://www.ebay.com/itm/Jesus-Tries-to-Cheer-up-Paul-McCartney-Using-a-Lambchop-Puppet-by-Kata-Billups-/190336609113

  • Lucy Owsley-Goodman
    October 25, 2013

    Jesus has a mullet

  • John Wallace
    November 7, 2013

    Is the hospital/baby one “Donor Sperm Jesus”?

  • Brian
    November 7, 2013

    Capitalist Jesus?

    As perverted as that is, I think that Yuppie White Couple in Eden with White Jesus explaining the “facts of life” to them (even though they clearly figured it out before White Republican Jesus got there) is creepier.

  • Brian
    November 8, 2013

    That last one, in Eden, is curious for a number of reasons. It just occurred to me that Adam and Eve are buck naked but Jesus is almost entirely covered in a sheet.

    So wouldn’t that make Adam and/or Eve wonder why Jesus has clothes on and wonder what he is hiding or is ashamed of?

    The Bible says that they discovered that they were naked only after the Snake introduced them to Sin. But according to this painting, it was Jesus who likely gave them the idea to be ashamed of themselves.

  • T
    November 25, 2013

    I saw something totally different….. Before reading the post I looked at the pictures. After reading the post, I almost judged the pictures. My point is, those that know God could see the positive in each and every painting. The beauty of God! How he’s there in the workplace. How he watches over your children while they sleep. How he’s been there since birth, and how amazing he is for creating every living being. Thank you Lord that I see the BIG picture. I pray that you will too! #God’s Child#

  • Karen Mitchell
    December 27, 2013

    OMG!! These comments are too effing funny! I was laughing so hard I peed my pants a little.

  • Charles Rode
    January 14, 2014

    Mullet Jesus

  • withoutamask77 .
    February 11, 2014

    I disagree with your opionions. Jesus Is God.Jesus calls fro the peace and not for the war.USA is a country agaisnt Jesus and the Chrisitans.
    Why you don’t stop the bad movies those against Jesus?
    as you know Hollywood run by the jews.

  • Manders
    April 10, 2014

    I actually think they were all beautiful and sweet except two. The business Jesus made me giggle and the adam and eve one was just…weird. The one with him in school I loved until I read your Billy Madison Jesus title and I busted out laughing lololol!!

  • VoiceOfReason71
    July 8, 2014

    Yknow, in that last one, Jesus is obviously explaining something to Adam, and Eve’s got a look on her face like, “Duh, I knew that, Adam. You’d better listen to this guy.” Yet Adam’s expression is one of somebody who really isn’t too sure and is laughing to himself. Considering that according to the Bible (Genesis 2:20), Adam looked all around for a help-meet (mate) when there were only animals around … and he’s clearly snuggling up to a tiger … yeah, this painting will send me to hell too. I’ll save you a seat! ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Fudgefase
    July 9, 2014

    Lol. Is that tiger fancying a bit of scrag end?

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