Pastor: Fix My Helicopter And God Will Give You A Car

First things first.

This is a bit convoluted, but I want to give credit where credit is due.

I initially came across this story over at Christian Nightmares, then read about it at Joe.My.God., before finally seeing the actual letter (seen below) at The Smoking Section.

Ok, now that we’ve got the formalities out of the way.

Are you kidding?!

I’ve seem some ridiculous, absurd, and disgusting uses of the so-called prosperity gospel before, but this one ranks up there near the top.

A “pastor” in Houston has sent out a letter begging his congregation for money to fix the church’s helicopter.

Wait, the church has their own helicopter?!

I just….I mean what would you….oh never mind..

In exchange for contributing the required $50,000 for the helicopter repairs, the “pastor” promises his congregation that God will give them, not just any car but “a dream vehicle or luxury automobile.”


I think what disgusts me most about frauds like this is that they build their mini-kingdoms largely by exploiting the poor and downtrodden. After all, if the rich wanted a car they would just go out and buy it. It’s a lot easier to pray on the desperate with promises of divinely ordained miracles in exchange for a “small” contribution….which for the people giving it is anything but small.

You don’t get much more un-Christlike than that.

It goes without saying that this guy is a crook and a disgrace.

I just wish he couldn’t hide behind the first amendment because he doesn’t belong behind the pulpit.

He belongs in jail.

Anyway, here’s the letter. Check it out for yourself and do your best not to punch your computer screen out of anger while you do.


  • Charlotte Eden Orth


  • Robert Martin

    Uh… wha… er…

    I’m trying…

    sorry, words fail…

  • sharon autenrieth

    I’m usually pretty good at laughing this stuff off, but that makes me really angry.

  • Tyler Francke

    “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you a pimped-out ride.”

    • Justin Mitchell

      Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise. We can take my helicopter.”

      • Tyler Francke

        “Truly I tell you, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to the Messiah will certainly not lose their reward (which, again, is a set of the sickest wheels in town).”

  • Tyler Francke

    Anyone else particularly weirded out by the “Sow your favor seed” button at the bottom? I think I just found my new favorite Christian pickup line! (just kidding, guys — I’m married.)

  • Justin Mitchell

    Must.. donate.. $52…
    I can’t help it! It’s that charming smile! And I need new seat warmers in my Mercedes!
    I love that he cites Mark 10:27-30, while ignoring what is just two verses before:
    “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

  • sanctusivo

    Give up your ewe lamb for the greater good of the kingdom.

  • MichaelL65

    Well isn’t that just…. Wait a sec? What church has an “Aviation Department”? Jesus walked everywhere he went, except the one time he rode an ass. He did just fine.

    • MichaelL65

      Well, I mean, except in the end, there. But he probably didn’t take a helicopter in the Ascension.

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