If you’re looking for a new doctor, I have a few suggestions.
However, I can’t confirm whether or not he has been to medical school.
He prefers a more, um, holistic approach to medicine.
His name is Jesus and can be whatever sort of medical professional you need him to be.
He can be a nurse.
Or in an emergency situation, he can just take things into his own hands.
Whatever you medical needs may be, Jesus has you covered.